So I don’t want to jinx it but I decided to give the online thing one more try. Just looking really…not much there that got my attention. I did message one guy but was kind of indifferent about it. He replied immediately and after going back and forth a few times, he asked me if I’d like to go get some coffee (we were both kid-free that night). I told him I don’t do coffee but I could handle some ice cream and he said great. I jumped in the shower and when I got out, I had a voice mail from him saying he would have to take a rain check. His family owns a property management company with 150 rental homes and he just got paged because a hot water heater exploded. He was very apologetic and promised to make it up to me and I thought he was genuine. Next day we talked on the phone for 3 hours!
Monday morning when he dropped his kids at school, he asked me out to breakfast but it’s been a crazy week at work and I just couldn’t get away. Same thing Tuesday. Wednesday, I finally met him for breakfast. I had worked all night and was exhausted and kind of frazzled. He’d overslept and had to rush the kids to school and was just really waking up. Both of our phones were going nuts the whole time. Overall, it was pleasant enough but not spectacular. Sneaking out during the day was fun because it felt like I was getting away with something but neither of us were really in “social” mode so it was hard to relax and enjoy it. When breakfast was over, I wasn’t really sure I’d even want to see him again but when he suggested we look for something else to do, I went along.
We rode around for a while…just driving and talking and then wound up back at his house. He had told me about his house but I was totally not prepared. The main house is his parents…3000 sq. feet, 8 bedrooms…that’s also their office for the business. He lives in the 3BR/2BA poolhouse and there’s a 1BR apartment upstairs from him. His sister lives in the “coach house” with her 4 sons. I didn’t even go in the main house…only his place…but I was just a little bit intimidated. He seems really down to earth but I was a little out of my element to say the least.
He has a pool table in his living room so we shot a few games of pool, then sat outside and chatted…that’s pretty much how we spent the rest of the day (till it was time to pick all the kids up from school). His patio is so peaceful! Between the big house and the poolhouse, the yard with the pool is almost completely enclosed. The other side is all woods so you’re completely secluded (once you get over the notion that Mom is watching from the window in the main house!) The landscaping in that courtyard is like something out of a magazine (there’s a separate yard where the kids’ swingset and treehouse is). If I lived there, I’d have to put a swing on the patio but I’d absolutely LIVE out there. They’re trying to sell that property (I found it listed online…1.1M..in this economy!) so his parents can travel the US for a year and the world for a year. I was teasing him that if it doesn’t sell, he and his kids can move into the main house, me and my kids will live in the poolhouse, and we can find a good nanny to rent the apartment upstairs. I’d have to ditch the landscaper though because I’d fill these flowerbeds with roses and put my veggie garden in the one over there and herbs over there. It was totally surreal. I’ll be embarrassed for him to see my place now.
We bet a backrub on a game of pool and I assumed he’d let me win but he didn’t. He kicked my butt! I was a little awkward about giving him a backrub at first but once I relaxed a little it was fun and he returned the favor. No roman hands even. He made it very clear that it was not because he wasn’t interested, but because I had been clear about wanting to take it slow. I told him I want to know the person I’m with wants me, but I want to know they want ME…not just someone. Later he tested the waters a little to see just where the boundaries were but he respected them.
Eventually he took me back to my car and we both rushed off to pick up our kids from school. He said he wants to take me on a real date this weekend (The Sun Dial and a show at the Fox is one possibility he suggested…once again, completely out of my element…I’ve lived here most of my life and only been to the Fox on a field trip in junior high and I’ve always looked up at the Sun Dial and fantasized about what it must be like up there…a ball game and Applebees is more my style). The boys were supposed to be with Ex this weekend but he flaked. Mom shocked me by asking if the boys could come down there so it looks like I will be kid-free Saturday night. He wanted to do Friday because he already had plans with a buddy for Saturday but he’s trying to switch everything around so I guess we’ll see.
He’s 41, twice-divorced…both marriages were about 7 years and ended with her cheating on him. He has twin 6-year-olds (boy/girl) that live with him and visit their mother 2-3 weekends a month. So he’s got the kids all week but he’s kid-free most weekends which is an interesting arrangement. Since he basically works for himself, he has a lot of flexibility with his work schedule and can get away during the day at times which could be dangerous! I have enough trouble staying disciplined and focusing on work while the kids are at school. He says whenever I’m ready I should bring the boys down there to go swimming or we’ll all go out for ice cream or something but I’m a little more hesitant about that. His kids see him socialize all the time so they don’t really think much about a new friend as long as it’s all casual. I don’t really have friends locally so if my kids saw me with a guy, they would immediately jump to conclusions. The kids all being so close in age (5, 6, 6, 7) is nice but it also means (I would hope) that they’ll become friends and I’m just not in a hurry to rush into anything like that.
He’s definitely looking for a relationship… he’s got no interest at all in serial dating. I’m open to the possibility of a relationship if one drops in my lap but I really don’t see how that would fit into my life at this point. I’m not really gaga over him like I was the fireman right off the bat, but there’s potential so I’m willing to give it a chance. He seems really down to earth and like a genuine nice guy. I hope we get to have a “real” date soon where we’re both relaxed and can just have fun. I remember when I was dating FG, it took a LONG time before I was able to switch gears and relax and enjoy weeknight dates and I never did really get the hang of lunch dates during the week. If yesterday was “just ok”, I think a real date on a kid-free weekend when we’re both in that frame of mind will be awesome.
And right on cue, enter Sailor. I haven’t talked to him all summer. I keep up with him on FB but he’s been distancing himself and I know better than to push when he’s like that. I knew he was on a road trip for the last couple of weeks…riding his motorcycle cross-country visiting family…but I didn’t think he was coming this way and didn’t even mention it to him. When I got home yesterday, I found out some things had blown up at work and the rest of the evening was completely out of control. At 2am, I noticed a text on my phone “Wanted to stop by and surprise you but having problems with the bike. Soon. Love you!” As soon as I read it, my head and heart were in knots. I’m actually glad he didn’t show up on my doorstep last night to surprise me but it’s a sweet thought. WHY WHY WHY does he suddenly come back from the abyss on the very day that I meet someone else? He’s been texting me all day today but it’s been pretty superficial…who he visited, what’s going on with the bike, his parents really want the boys and me to come up, whatever. Who knows…